This Is How I Finally Took Control Of My Life

Personal Development

In the year 2020, I found myself, in the company of others, laid off and wanting normalcy to return—waiting month by month.

It was a very dark place in my life, where I was crawling out of the bottom of the barrel. Two years earlier, I was divorcing, sold my home where my kids spent their childhood years, and moved into an apartment. Two weeks later, my father died. My daughters and I were crushed.

It was important for me to raise my children, so I chose to leave a 6-figure income career to stay home with them.

Not having a bachelor’s degree, finding a career and income to work around my children was impossible.

I spent 13 years at home without an income. My ex-husband had ruined my credit, my checking account was bare, and there was not a lot of equity in the home we had built.

Without equity or funds, I found myself in a situation where I was starting from scratch and alone. It was very scary, and staying in an abusive marriage was not an option.

What role model would I be to my girls if I stayed?

After analyzing the situation and taking steps to move myself into a better situation, I earned a cosmetology degree and used my past corporate training to work with a small wine importer. But on day 12 of the initial COVID-19 shut down, I was laid off from my wine job and salons were closed. I had just bought a house the month prior.

The struggle was making me question everything. What else was there to do but get caught in my own head because we were shut down from everything and everyone?

On this journey, there were three critical lessons learned that need to be shared.

1. Shut Out All Of The Noise

Take notice of the amount of time you spend on social media and watching the news and negative TV shows. Now is the time to mind your mind and become totally aware of what you are absorbing. Love yourself enough to input positive information and surround yourself with like-minded people.

When I stopped wasting my time on other people’s drama, I was able to spend my time on loving myself, filling my mind with information and support that was in alignment with my mindset and goals. Turning to nature, being grateful every day, and having faith that it will all work out helps to balance the negativity we’re bombarded with daily.

 2. Remove Toxicity

Being aware of toxic relationships and how they affect your life is going to save you years of emotional and mental stress. You were born to live your life, so make sure that you are living up to your standards. Removing toxic relationships is hard but necessary if you want to live a life of integrity and purpose.

My toxic relationship was my marriage, and when I removed that toxicity, I was able to find myself. I realized that I am the person that is very strong, intelligent, and capable. I am the person that was born to be an inspiration, a resource, and overall, incredible!

3. Remove Fear

Fear is your brain not wanting to change. Take charge and say, “Hell yeah, bring it on!” If you want to move into a better place and live a life that is yours, you need to face the fear, recognize it, and keep moving toward your dreams.

Finding support in podcasts, books, and like-minded people is what works for me to keep the fear at bay. Sometimes, life throws me off track due to kids or wrenches thrown in the schedule, and I start losing that “I’ve got this” feeling. That’s when I realize I have to get back to my reading or listening to my favorite podcasts.

In conclusion… 

By shutting out all the noise, it allows one to mind their mind and allow space for positive ideas, thoughts, and energy. This results in accomplishing goals that are leading to desired success.

We have control over our lives if we do not surrender our minds to outside influences.

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