Sometimes the simple act of a fine tipped pen to paper feels right, and by simply putting the mess on paper and releasing your thoughts on life, you can find a momentary glimpse into peace.
And when I decide to put my pen to paper, what comes out are thoughts about the beauty of life and the belief that shapes that beauty.
We all are special through the simple act of believing we deserve what we deserve. That act of believing will change the game.
I believe I have the power to impact people, live life on my own terms, break the mold that so many saw for me, and go after what I want and know I can have despite whatever society wants to say. And I believe life is beautiful through the mess. And beauty isn’t just in sunshine and symmetry, it’s families fighting but holding peace in your heart because you know it will work itself out, it’s handwriting as thoughts are scribbled on notebook paper, and it’s an instrument that once felt so foreign feeling so familiar. It’s crisp air on early mornings and the feeling of freshly brushed teeth or a perfectly full stomach. It’s breathlessness, anxiousness, tears and grieving because you loved someone so hard it hurts. It’s the feeling of unity and connection when you are walking down the aisle with your closest relatives behind your dead family member’s casket, a hyperventilating voice crackling as your blurry-eyed, tear-stained face reads to everyone attending. It’s watching your family shape and shift, taking new roles to adjust and support the loss and healing that needs to occur. It’s the ability to accept the change knowing it is what is meant to be and won’t always make sense in the moment.
Beauty isn’t in one moment, it’s in all: the pain, the joy, the sadness, the pleasure, the laughter, the shame, the guilt, the tears. If you choose to believe that life is beautiful, you can’t just take it out of the good, you have to take it out of everything. It’s this accumulation that creates beauty. The contrast. Creating layers and depth that bring out the rawness of everything that we so rarely decide to touch.
So what is the beauty of life?
It is feeling all of the feelings no matter how painful, but attaching positivity, pleasure, and grace to them because you know that it isn’t just one color that creates a masterpiece but the accumulation of them all.
It is living a life where you are in the driver’s seat. Knowing what you decide will happen will happen. That there are no limits, and when it seems there is one, it’s simply a matter of perspective.
This is the beauty of life. And more importantly, the beauty in painting your own picture, whatever picture you want, and knowing that whatever it ends up looking like, it’s beautiful because of each of the moments that created it.